


FFXV Kinkmeme Drabbles

by ItCameFromOuterAce



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Crack, Daddy Kink, Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, Fem!Prompto, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kink Meme, M/M, Multi, One Night Stands, Other, Renaissance Faires, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-03-08 22:17:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 14,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18903748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItCameFromOuterAce/pseuds/ItCameFromOuterAce
Summary: Unconnected pieces 100-1000 words long.  Hopefully good for a chuckle.  Ratings range.





	1. Something Strange... (General)

"Whoa, how were we _that_ close to a group of mesmenirs without noticing?" Noct squinted at the small screen on Prompto's camera. The boys had been going through the day's shots when he noticed something in the background. Unfortunately, there were limits to how much the preview could zoom.

"There's no way." Gladio leaned down over Prompto to get a closer look. "They'd have charged if we were." He held out a large hand and Prompto handed the camera over. Gladio started scrolling the preview around to get a better look. He stayed hovering over Prompto and Noctis and thrust the camera into Prompto's face when he found something. "Look at that. This one definitely has two horns."

"Spiracorns?" Ignis drifted over from the camp kitchen to see what the fuss was.

"Nope." Prompto replied, popping the 'p'. "Too small. Those shrubs weren't higher than waist level. Plus the horns are on the side of their heads. You ever hear of anything like it?"

"Nothing so small." Ignis glanced at the creature in the image. "Perhaps it's related to the kujata, some sort of pygmy mutation." He glanced away as the pot on the stove rattled as steam escaped. "Why don't you transfer that to your phone so we have it on a bigger screen and we'll show it to the next tipster we talk to."

Prompto took his camera back and dug out the transfer cord. "Good idea. Man, I hope we don't have to fight them. They're kinda cute."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
> prompto's camera catches goats  
> because i completely misread the title of the above post.


	2. Something Naughty... (Explicit)

Ignis felt the sting of moisture in his eyes as his daddy cruelly tugged on his balls with the dry hand to halt his orgasm. He slumped to the side with a dismayed whine when his most sensitive parts were released. Ignis knew he wasn't supposed to come yet, but it was so good. He heard an exasperated sigh behind him as he resumed his position on his knees and elbows.

"Relax, you’re gonna get to come; just on my time, not yours." Ignis gasped when his daddy's hand cracked against the side of his ass, and he moaned when one hand caressed the stinging spot while the other returned to fingering him. He loved this...this freedom. He never was allowed to just be outside of this bedroom, so every moment was precious. Still...

"Please, Daddy, I need it." Ignis knew it was futile even as he begged, but part of the fun was falling apart. Still, he was suprised when both hands disappeared from his body. He didn't think he'd pushed too far. Just be good, just be good. He held his position with a slight tremble in his thighs, and rubbed his face against the pillow. He had worn his glasses the first few trysts with his daddy, but he'd started taking them off to enjoy the vulnerability of their absence.

Ignis’s patience was rewarded by the obsene squelch of the lube bottle. He felt the warmth of his daddy's knees between his own before his hips were grasped and guided back onto a slippery cock. It breached him slowly, filling him and rubbing against his favorite spot. His breath caught in his throat, but he found his voice as his daddy set a brisk rhythm.

"Ah! Yes, thank you Daddy! You’re so good, just like that." He knew he could always count on his daddy to take care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
> 🅱️lease I'm desperate, Ignis calling anybody Daddy when they fuck him, prefer Ignyx but my crops are so thirsty any water will do at this point. Only DNWs are Ignoct and scat.


	3. Something Playful... (General)

Prompto unstrung his bow and stowed it back in it's case while the judges made a show of inspecting the targets. He felt good about his shooting today, but he hadn't been able to watch all the other participants in the archery contest. Finally the master of ceremonies, Noct's dad, gestured Prompto and two of the others over.

"Miladies, milords, and gentry of all sorts; your attention." Regis had a greater air of dignity than most men wearing ruffles. "Thank you for your indulgence. We award Dame Aranea, who you know as Champion the Joust, the title of third." Aranea took her bow with good humor.

"Next, a face that's been absent for some years. Sir Ardyn has once more graced our fair Faire and claimed the rank of second." A man Prompto didn't know swept a truly impressive hat from his head and bowed to the crowd with a flourish. Prompto's excitement and anxiety twisted and twined in his chest. Aranea flashed him a knowing smile and a thumbs up. He was almost too distracted by anticipation to notice how tall and handsome this Ardyn was.

"Finally, the rank of first, the winner's purse, and first refusal of my son's hand, go to Sir Prompto!" The crowd broke up with a mix of laughter and cheers.

"GET A GIFT RECEIPT FOR THE LAST THING!" Bellowed Gladio from the sidelined. Noct punched him in the arm but was laughing too hard to connect solidly. Ignis was also there, applauding politely. 

The second place winner, Ardyn, stepped up next to Regis and proclaimed, "Three cheers for our victor! Hip, Hip..."

"HUZZAH!" The crowd responded in rough unison. Prompto thought he was going to catch fire from his cheeks. He started toward his friends, intent on hiding behind Gladio until it died down, when Ardyn approached him with an outstretched hand.

"Congratulations, good sir, and fine shooting."

Prompto took the warm, broad hand and hoped his grip wasn't too sweaty. In his defense, he was wearing three layers in summer. "Thank you, you too."

"Would you care to join me at the tavern?" Ardyn gestured to the tent keeping the sun off the kegs and people hawking beer. Prompto realized he probably should have let go of Ardyn's hand by then. He resolved to work on that as soon as he came up with a suave response.

"I'd love to." Damn. Although, Ardyn hadn't let go either, and his smile crinkled the crows-feet around his golden eyes. Prompto grinned back, this was a great start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
> Ardyn/Prompto, Renfaire  
> Every year, Prompto goes with his friends to Renfaire. There's music, food, entertainment, and people even dress up. It's like ComicCon for history nerds. This year, he meets an eccentric man with very odd and specific knowledge of the time period. The man also seems to know this place like the back of his hand and knows everybody who works here.
> 
> Because Prompto and Ardyn seem to be the type of couple who would have met at Renfaire.
> 
> \+ All the chocobros have dressed up (Is Ardyn dressing up? Or is that his normal clothing?)  
> ++ Maybe Prompto sells some of his merch. (Could be some pictures or maybe he makes his own leather bound journals and sells them)  
> +++ If he sells stuff, the other chocobros have to pressure him into not underselling his merch.  
> ++++ Prompto aces the archery contest


	4. Something Sharp of Tooth... (Teen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn and his vampire-husbands are offered a sacrifice.

“Well, this one’s different.” Ignis commented drily. For the past few years Niflheim had been paying it’s annual fleshtithe to Archvampyr Ardyn with clones. While their blood was sweet; the dull eyed, obedient, beaten-down creatures lacked fire. Gladio, Ardyn’s eldest husband since the divorce with Ravus, had grumbled about treachery, but Ignis had pointed out that it didn’t truly violate the protection. Yet.

It seemed that their patience had been rewarded. The latest offering burned with all the energy missing from the last few years. The now-familiar face was crossed with a gag, he was bound hand and foot, and the men carrying him up from the road were bruised and bloodied. As Ardyn and his husbands watched they viciously threw the blond into the temple and pushed the door shut with vigor. Noctis, Ardyn’s youngest husband, slipped away from the wall and into the keep proper. Ardyn watched him leave and followed him down to the keep-side entrance to the temple.

Noctis had stopped taking interest in the sacrifices after the first few years; he’d been unhappy to find that very few were turned and his luck was rare. Ardyn was vaguely sorry that Noctis felt so distant from his family, despite the love between them all. Noctis waited for his husband outside the closed door. Ardyn wrapped his arms around him and bent down to kiss the scar on his neck. Noctis melted into his touch and tucked his head against his lord-husband’s shoulder.

“I can make no promises.” Ardyn murmured, reaching for the temple door.

“I know.” Noctis stepped out of the circle of Ardyn’s arms and settled against the wall to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Ardyn/Chocobros: AU, ritual sacrifice turned husband
> 
> Inspired from the Ardyn/Noct ritual sex sacrifice from the last round.
> 
> Accursed/Vampire lord/whatever Ardyn has been ruling for 2000 years and demands sacrifices for reasons. Every couple hundred years Ardyn gets a sacrifice he really, really likes and shares a bit of his power with them so they can live together as husbands/lovers for eternity.
> 
> Cue one of the Chocobros being sacrificed to Ardyn. Instead Ardyn wants to seduce and add him to his collection of husbands, who happen to be the remaining three Chocobros.
> 
> \+ The newest sacrifice can be anyone  
> \+ Go wild with the pairings! It doesn't have to just be Ardyn/sacrifice, maybe Ardyn's husbands have their own reasons for seducing the sacrifice.  
> +++ The Chocobros are NOT slaves/captives. Ardyn encourages them to explore and have their own hobbies. They truly love each other.
> 
> DNW: Noncon. Dubcon is okay, because a sacrifice isn't going to have a lot of say in this situation but Ardyn isn't going to force them.


	5. Something Right... (Teen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One time Noctis was very immature about the relationships of others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more of [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624802)

Noctis Lucis Caelum, Heir to the Throne, Prince of the Realm, Highscore holder on the Justice Monsters machine at the Kenny Crows on 2nd, wondered if he could pour bleach into his ears. Ardyn, his _uncle_ , had his grubby hand on Prompto's shoulder and was _whispering_ into his ear.

"You look fine, Kitten, and you're so smart and charming, everyone is going to love you almost as much as I do." Noctis felt a surge of ~~jealousy~~ disgust as that old man soothed Prompto’s stress before attending a gala as a guest instead of security. “I just know you’re going to get on so well with Gratis from the hospital board; he’s a photographer too.” Unfortunately Ignis was fussing over him, so Noct couldn’t interfere with the unseemly display as Prompto seemed to melt into Ardyn’s arms.

“I know I asked you not to call me that in public.” Prompto murmured too loudly for Noct to fail to overhear. That old creep was trampling all over poor Prompto’s boundaries; how dare he!

“We’re not in public; it’s just family back here,” Ardyn brushed a kiss against Prompto’s temple. ”And it’s far tamer than some of the things you call me.”

“I just call them as I see them, babe.” Prompto rose onto the balls of his feet to close the distance between their faces. Noct shuddered in revulsion, earning him a glare from Ignis as he straightened his tie. He huffed silently and endured.

“I do the same, Kitten. I promise you will have a lovely evening; if not here then I’m sure Noctis and Regis will provide cover for us sneak out to that place that does all night doughnuts.” Noctis mulled it over; he probably couldn’t escape himself if push came to shove, and if Prompto was his guest the blond would feel trapped for as long as Noct was. Perhaps it was better that his uncle was Prompto’s...escort tonight. No, wait; they were kissing again, ew, ew, ew!


	6. Something Cracky... (Explicit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignoct, Ignis takes care of sexual Noctis' needs  
> From: (Anonymous)  
> Not looking for consent discussion fic and just looking for Noctis using Ignis whenever he wants for blowjobs and sex. Bottom!Ignis only. Bonus for doing it front of others but not required and double bonus if Ignis never gets off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I acknowledge that OP made a typo. However, it was an awesome typo and my goblin brain elected to grab it and run.

_Congratulations,_ Ignis Sciencia _you are now the proud caretaker of your **Sexual Noctis™**. Please note that the **Sexual Noctis™** differs from the Standard **Noctis™** and the **Romantic Noctis™** in several important ways..._

Ignis absently paged through the pamphlet as Noctis continued to pound him from behind. It was actually rather nice of him to pick a position that Ignis could read in, there was no good way to read whilst giving a blowjob. Noctis paused, shifted his weight forward so his hands were pressing more firmly into Ignis's shoulders, and resumed thrusting. Ignis shifted his knees and clenched on the member inside him. Noctis shuddered to a halt with a cry and collapsed on Ignis's back. Ignis kept reading; the part about refraction period variability was fascinating and useful.

After spending a few minutes catching his breath Noctis twitched inside Ignis and grabbed him by the hip. Ignis sighed and allowed himself to be rolled onto his side. He pulled one leg up to his chest and turned a page as Noctis started thrusting from the new position. He’d already read the pamphlet through twice; hopeful Noctis would want a break soon so he could get a real book.


	7. Something Taboo... (Mature)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunafreya gets a laptop.

Lunafreya got up to check the lock on her door for the third time. Ravus was in Gralea and Gentiana was dismissed for the night, she never returned early. The door was secure and no one would try to see her until the morning. The guards were to prevent her from leaving; they’d only drag her out if she refused to leave her rooms for several days. Luna dashed back to her desk and carefully pulled a heavy laptop from the false bottom of the second drawer. Lucky for her the soldier who allowed the antique to enter her possession had a hangover while inspecting it. She carried the computer over to her bed and arranged the power cord to her liking.

It was another stroke of luck that had passed the ancient machine and a few games into her care; one of the guards was a sympathetic woman younger than Ravus who still remembered what being a teenager was like. She’d extracted a promise that the laptop wouldn’t be used to escape in exchange for the wifi password. Of course, she’d never believe what Luna planned to do instead.

Luna changed into her nightgown while waiting for the computer to warm up. She bounced onto the bed with the glee of someone about to break a hated rule. She pulled up the web browser and after a minute of fussing set it to private mode. Luna smiled with satisfaction as she pecked in a web address she’d overheard the guards talking about. After a few guesses at the spelling she got it right and was greeting by a white text on a black background asking if she was 18. She glanced away as she clicked yes. It was only about five percent a lie she reasoned. She looked back up and quickly slammed the laptop shut as she took in a picture of a man’s...thing in a woman’s...in a woman. She’d never… she’d never…

Luna took a few breaths to calm down. She felt feverish, but the flush was more excitement than embarrassment. She gingerly reopened the laptop and made herself look at the picture. This was what she wanted, and it wasn’t bad, but maybe something else first. She moused over to the “Categories” label and looked through it. _“Solo” sounds promising._ It was the start of an educational night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> Luna, watching porn for the first time
> 
> Luna somehow gets access to porn (don't care how) and debates with herself before finally watching it. She'd overheard other men and women talking about it and while she'd never actively gone seeking it...she was curious. She feels a little bad for clicking on the video, a little dirty even. After all, she's the oracle and the oracle is pure and holy and...she's a growing teenage girl. She can't help it if the idea is a little exciting.
> 
> So she watches it. And, after making sure her door is locked and no one's coming to her room, masturbates to it. It ends up being her first orgasm and it's amazing.
> 
> +++ the sounds get her off more than the visuals do


	8. Something Taboo 2...(General)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The IT guys at Niflheim controlled Fenestala Manor have a bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of the last. Thank you all for your fun comments!  
>  Lady Lunafreya is not as computer literate as she thinks.

"Look, they're at it again!"

"Same IP?"

"Yeah, whoever is on our network isn't even trying to mask themselves. Sir, I don't think this is Tenebrean resistance; they've never come close to the manor. and this person is not sending any messages."

"The page access times are suspicious. Someone could be passing messages if the other end is monitored. Like that one was only accessed for a few seconds, but this one was loaded and replayed several times."

"I don't think that's the case. There are better ways, and they've accessed a few unaffiliated websites. It's all games, movies, and adult media; all during late evening and night hours. It's the browsing pattern of a bored teenager, but no social media."

"Hmm, maybe one of the servants. Either way, it has to stop. Any luck narrowing down the locations?"

"Yes sir, I've got the signal strength right here. The strongest node is..."

"What? Where is it?"

"Sir, it's in the royal wing."

"But the only people there this time of night are our soldiers and... no."

"Only the most disciplined soldier are assigned to her, sir. None of them have a spot on their records."

"It can't be her. I mean, when I was that age I...but she's not..." 

"Sir, either way, we'll have to inform Commander Ravus to investigate further in that area."

"..."

"Sir?"

"Does anyone outside of this room know about this issue?"

"No sir."

"Keep it that way. If I end up having to tell Commander Ravus that we suspect the Oracle, his little sister, is looking at porn; I'll make sure your day is just as unpleasant. Understand?"

"Yes sir."


	9. Something Like Kindness...(General)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Verstael Besithia thought he was looking for a monster of legend; what will he do when he finds a man?

The specimen was a sorry sight, but then he had seemed helpless until he'd put down the Lucians who had killed Verstael’s men. Verstael quickly reevaluated the plains they'd had for storing the Adagium and instructed his remaining men to put him in his own quarters. Mostly because the Adagium had proven dangerous to their enemies and he wanted to keep in good standing with him, but also because they'd been prepared to contain a powerful daemon, there was no need to cage a being who could be brought to their side by reason.

"Give him the bed," Besithia instructed the men carrying the Adagium. "You, go and bring food and water. Careful! This man avenged our brothers." Once the Adagium was settled Verstael dismissed his men. The ship rocked; the foul winds that beset the island were returning. It seemed they'd had the god's own luck getting there when they had. Verstael settled in to his chair and observed the man. He'd lapsed into unconsciousness after fighting the Lucians. He seemed to be having a nightmare. Verstael considered his options and decided it was safest to soothe the Adagium without waking him.

"Ah-Aera...Aera, noooo...." The man murmured. Verstael rose and wet a face-cloth with a jug of water locked down next to a basin. Ship board facilities being what they were, it would have to do. He returned to the bed and started cleaning the sweat and grime from the Adagium’s face. "So...Somn...why..."

"Shhh, peace." Verstael rasped. His voice had nearly been destroyed by injury during his day's serving the Empire on the front lines. He'd recovered much, but tried softening his voice to a whisper. "You are safe, I've taken you from those that would see you chained." He ran his hand over the strange man's hair. It was badly in need of attention, but that would have to wait until they were safely at a base. This Adagium was powerfully built; well muscled despite his captivity and tall judging how his feet fell off the edge of the bed that comfortably held Verstael the night before. Despite the care taken, his golden eyes fluttered open and fixed on the man tending him.

“Where…”

“My ship, we’re taking you home.” Verstael rose to rinse the soiled cloth, wrung it until it wouldn’t drip, and returned to rest it on the Adagium’s forehead. “You’re safe now. I knew the Lucian’s were barbarous, but had I known the depths of their depravity I would have come for you sooner.” The man looked confused, troubled. Verstael pushed on, “I was following myths and tales. They called you Adagium, but never mentioned you were a man. Tell me; is that your name or do you call yourself something else?”

“Ardyn. Ardyn Lucius Caelum.” Ardyn’s eyes drifted shut. Figuring the man was past the worst for now, Verstael reached out to adjust the blankets, intending to leave to bunk with his men. Ardyn grasped his wrist and plaintively said, “Stay?”

“The bed is narrow. I would not want you to feel trapped.”  


The hand about his wrist tugged gently, without the strength that Verstael had seen on the island. “I’ve been trapped for a very long time. I can tell the difference between that and company.” He sounded surer. Verstael allowed himself to be drawn onto his bed. He could perform a full examination later; for now he would safeguard the Adagium of legend from bad dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Prompt:
> 
> Verstael/Ardyn, HC  
> *Crashes through several walls to get back here after having just seen the new trailer*
> 
> Hot, young Verstael nursing a traumatized Ardyn back to health and helping him adapt to the modern world after rescuing him from Angelgard.
> 
> That is all.


	10. Something fast... (General)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get creative and play fair.

"Alright, so if we take Gladio's time as the base, then Prompto had to complete the course within one hundred eighty percent of the time to be considered a win. Are we all in agreement?" Ignis's voice could barely be heard by the Glaives shamelessly eavesdropping. The Prince and his three retainers had the obstacle course booked for the day. They had already gathered onlookers when a debate broke out between the men. A good one, too, judging by the fact that Scientia had broken out his notebook.

"Wait, why are they giving Argentum the advantage? He's way faster than Amicitia?" One of the Glaives whispered to his friend. Technically they should be doing maintenance, but how often did they get to watch the prince and his friends eat mud on the course?

"'Cause they're carrying each other." the other Glaive whispered back. "Now shush," she continued, "They're about to start." A few of the other Glaives were discussing stakes and odds. The prince had his phone out, presumably using a stopwatch app, and the two men lined up at the start of the course.

"On your mark, get set, GO!" cried Ignis. Gladio grabbed Prompto and hoisted him over his shoulders and took off down the course. They had apparently agreed to us the basic route for it because he bypassed the rope web and went straight to the tires. Prompto hung on as his large friend bounced through the obstacles and over waist high wall, skipping the wires and a climbing wall. He rounded back through a few more hazards and skidded to a halt by Noct and Ignis.

"One minute, fifty-five point eight seconds." The prince announced.

"I almost feel bad about kicking your ass at this," Gladio told the man still on his shoulders. "No shame in calling it now."

"No shame in winning either. Lemme down, I gotta whip your time." The blond wriggled out of Gladio's grasp and dropped to the dirt. They lined back up.

"On your mark, get set, GO!" repeated Ignis. Prompto grabbed Gladio, more pulling than lifting, and got him into a fireman's carry. They took off back down the course. The Glaives cheered in surprise at the speed as Prompto danced his way through the tires. The hushed as he reached the low wall; it waist high for Gladio, not Prompto. Prompto leaned down so Gladio's weight was supported and spun the larger man as he clambered over sideways.

Prompto nearly lost his balance bringing Gladio off the wall but rallied and took off back toward the start. The crowd of glaives were loosing their minds, and the cheering was attracting more onlookers. Prompto made it back to his friend and immediately dumped the bigger man onto his feet and flopped into the dirt. His exhausted exclamation, "I'm just gonna live down here now." was drowned out by Noct proclaiming;

"TWO MINUTES, FORTY-EIGHT POINT TWO SECONDS." Most of the Glaives cheered, a few grumbled having bet in favor of the prince's shield.

Gladio reached down to pull Prompto up, laughing. "Holy-shit, you really are a chocobo. Best out of three?"

"Never again. These are my laurels and I'm gonna sleep for at least a week on them." Prompto allowed himself to be brought upright and staggered toward their water bottles.

"So, at one hundred forty-five percent, Prompto is the clear winner." Ignis closed his notebook with a snap.

"Good work, both of you." The marshal's calm voice sounded from the sidelines. Several Glaives abruptly realized they had places to be, but most stayed. The four men turned to the marshal, despite his praise they had a vague air of being caught misbehaving. "You boys might as well hit the showers now; I don't think you're going to top that today." The rest of the Glaives filed out.

"Thank you, sir." Ignis spoke for his friends and bowed them out of the room, Noct and Gladio bracketing Prompto and Ignis bringing up the rear. As soon as they thought they were out of range they started giggling. Cor smiled to himself, boys would be boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> gen or any, fitness competition  
> listen, these boys spend a lot of time in the gym, and if there's anything I've learned from knowing guys who spend a lot of time at the gym, they absolutely have challenged each other and competed for physical achievements.
> 
> Gladio's always making fun of Noct's lack of muscle, so let me see the bros in a friendly competition of a physical nature! Maybe they set it up as a multiple event thing because there's no way anyone is gonna beat Gladio in bench presses but Ignis is a master at yoga, Prompto's the best distance runner, and maybe Noct is an expert swimmer? idk you pick the events, just know that things exist like an event my brother in law did recently where you did bench presses and then ran a half marathon and your total score depended on how you did in both.
> 
> gen is fine, or if you want them to get turned on by each other's achievements, that's fine too!


	11. Something Clandestine... (Mature)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For father's day, I got Regis laid.

Regis gingerly lowered himself into the chair at his desk and checked if his secretary had noticed anything. The man in questing was droning off Regis's appointments for the day and had his gaze fixed on his tablet. Good, it seemed like Regis had gotten away with it again. "Thank you, Felix. I'll just work on the farming reports until Noctis arrives; just send him straight in." Felix bowed, checked the coffee pot, and left. Regis leaned forward to pick up the report in question, winced, and smiled at the memory of the previous night. 

_"Is that good?" The blonde man murmured into his shoulder, even as his fingers dug into Regis's hips. Regis moaned into the supposedly silk sheets. Although, if the hotel had used satin he was in no position to complain._

Regis had slipped out the night before for one of his little jaunts. He knew in distressing detail that his father and other monarchs had brought sex-workers into the citadel itself, but that didn't appeal to him. He went out with his most trusted guards looking for more than just sex. He wanted passion, adventure, connection even if it was anonymous. He'd found it in spades with Prospero.

_The bar had an air of refinement, but wasn’t so exclusive as to keep out commonfolk. The bouncer nodded Regis and his security through in groups of two and three, not knowing they were all together. There was a modest dance floor for the younger crowd, but the acoustics allowed for conversation in spots throughout the bar. Regis headed for a table, putting himself in a position to see and be seen. One of the dancers caught his eye._

Regis’s phone bleated at him. Noctis had sent a text message inquiring if it was an acceptable time to call. Regis didn’t quite understand the etiquette of these new phones, but appreciated that there was such a thing. He pushed the call button. 

“Good morning Dad. How are you today?”

“I’m well, thank you. And you?”

“I’m good. So, I wanted to check that I’m on your schedule for this morning. My Crownsguard selection passed his entrance checks and exam and I wanted to introduce you.”

“Of course. Felix does have you on the agenda, and if you’re a little early or a little late I don’t have anything I can’t shift for you. I’ll look forward to meeting your friend.”

“Great! Just...he’s a little nervous about meeting you so…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll behave.”

“Thanks. ‘Bye Dad.”

“I love you, son. See you soon.”

_Regis watched the blond man pull away from the dance floor and head for the bar. He was lithe and well muscled; wearing a sleeveless shirt and skinny jeans. Decades younger than Regis himself, but the bar held a reputation for being scrupulous with it’s ID policy. Although Regis himself hadn’t been carded, several of his men had. When the waitress brought him his whisky he gave her enough to cover several more and asked her to let the blond dancer know he was covered for his next drink._

Regis finished the first farming report. He hummed to himself as he refilled his coffee and grabbed the next one to read. The previous night still filled him with a gentle warmth. It was regrettable that he couldn’t go out on his little jaunts more often.

_The younger man had slid into the free chair at Regis’s table and introduced himself as Prospero. Regis was Reggie, a businessman, and after a few rounds of conversation and another drink Prospero had slid back out of the chair and was leaning into Reggie’s space. They quickly left, Regis’s security pulling away discreetly, and his driver taking them to a well vetted hotel. Prospero had nearly swooned over the car and had made comments about the size of the backseat, but had been unwilling to go to far with the driver in the front._

There was a knock and Regis looked up as Felix ushered Noctis in with a bow. Regis smiled warmly, and motioned Noctis to come and sit with him. In his shadow trailed a blond man about his age and Regis felt the blood drain from his face as he locked eyes with the rapidly flushing man, who his son was introducing as Prompto.

_Prospero kept exclaiming over the opulence of the hotel and Regis pulled him in for a heated kiss. Cloths soon littered the hotel room and after a quick discussion about his knee Regis settled on the bed to let Prospero do the lion’s share of the work. Regis focused on relaxing and praising his partner. Prospero had made a valiant effort at giving Regis a hand while he worked him in other ways, but the angle was awkward. The blond finished first, gasping and shuddering as he spilled into his condom, and after he dealt with it Regis rolled over to allow better access. It was fortunate the room came well stocked, and it turned out Prospero had a fondness for strawberry-flavor._

Regis hadn’t expected to ever see Prospero again. Fortunately the newest Crownsguard proved quick on his feet and bowed low to hide his blush. “I-it’s an honor to meet y-your Majesty.” It wasn’t a perfect bow, but he held it a bit too long so Noctis was distracted by urging him back up, giving Regis a chance to recover.

“I’m pleased to meet you, Crownsguard Argentum. Felix, we’ll need a little more coffee.” Prompto made a significant glance to Noctis and back while the prince was distracted by the secretary coming back in. Regis winced and mouthed ‘sorry’ while shaking his head. Prompto gave a weak smile and nodded before turning back to accept his coffee. It was going to be an awkward meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> Regis/Prompto - casual sex, but they don't know who the other is
> 
> So, Regis is a grown man. He has needs. And sometimes, pretty rarely, those needs involve him and twenty of his most discreet undercover guard going out so he can get his anonymous bone on. It's nice to not be the King for a night, and the 'distinguished older gentleman with money' schtick goes over pretty well.
> 
> He meets a beautiful, excitable young blond man on one of these excursions and they share an incredible night together.
> 
> It's not like he expects to see any of these young gentleman again, but something about this man sticks to him. He can't get him out of his head.
> 
> ...which makes it pretty easy to recognize him the next day, when Noctis introduces his father to his best friend, Prompto.
> 
> ++ this anon's a horny one and would looooooOOOOOOOOOve to read about their actual night, but alluding to it is fine if you just wanna lean on the awkward meeting after


	12. Something to Celebrate... (General)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthday blues wishes to battle with It. It used fluff against birthday blues, super effective!

Ardyn stood in front of the mirror and stared in rapt attention as he twisted a lock of his hair to see it from every angle. He’d long since given up hope, but here it was, plain as daylight. He grinned to himself. Somehow he’d actually missed the first one and now he had three, no, four grey hairs. He pictured himself with a full mane of long, silver hair, and chuckled to himself. He’d thought that the only escape for him was to die as a monster, but here he was; living as a man.

He finished brushing his hair and decided to forego his customary hat for the day. There was a bounce in his step as he walked from his apartment at the citadel to the university. It was a beautiful spring day, if a touch damp. There were a pair of sparrows brawling over a favored perch at a feeder. “Ardyn!” He looked up toward the familiar voice and saw the young king wave to him, heading into work himself. Ardyn wasn’t jealous; the historians were much more fun than the council, especially when he corrected a mistranslation older than their field of study.

“Good morning Noctis. How’s your father today?”

“He’s doing great; Cor’s taking him and Clarus to go bother Cid for the weekend. Retirement suits him.”

“Ah, how wonderful. I had a bit of excitement in that direction myself; look!” Ardyn bowed his head for Noctis to examine. “I’m going grey!”

Noct laughed with genuine good humor. “Congratulations! You know, I don’t think I ever found out when your birthday is?”

“Ah.” Ardyn was taken aback by the question. “I’m afraid I don’t precisely recall. It was sometime around a month after the spring equinox, but we really didn’t make a fuss about it in my day.”

“Well, in my day we do, and it sounds like we’re pretty close. If it’s alright, I’ll have Specs pencil in some time next week. What would you like to do for a party?”

“Well, I don’t know that I want much of a party, but I would enjoy spending some time with you all. Perhaps if the weather permits we could all dine _al fresco_ in the gardens.”

“Good deal, I’ll see you later. Have fun at school!” Noctis smiled and hastened to his duties. Ardyn turned and continued to the university. Rain started falling and gently soaked into his hair. It was a beautiful day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> Gen Ardyn, Happy Birthday  
> Ardyn's been 33 for 2000 years. He's never grown older, his body has never changed. He was the definition of stuck. So, when his curse fades and he grows older, it's a bit of a shock (a really good one)
> 
> \+ An everybody lives/everybody is happy au (fuck the gods)  
> ++ Maybe that picnic scene


	13. Something about loot... (General)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Borderlands AU

Gladio pushed ahead of the other three as they headed into the unfamiliar settlement. Prompto hung back to bring up the rear. The Skag Rider was always nervous about being separated from 'Tiny', but not as nervous as townsfolk got about her in the first place. Ignis and Noctis stayed between them, there'd be trouble of Noct was recognized. Mors had withdrawn the protection of the Insomnia Corporation and left the planet of Lucis to the mercies of the Niflheim Conglomerate a generation ago, but old wounds ran deep.

The four got side-eyed by a few of the locals, but made it to the bounty-board in peace. Noctis collected the reward for the bandits that had brought them this way in the first place. There were a few new jobs; Ignis took the details to see what they could take care of.

"Hey, wanna hit up the Crow's Nest?" Prompto glanced over at Noctis, deferring the decision. He was native to Lucis, unlike the others who'd grown up on Insomnia Station, but had gone half feral living alone in the badlands. He’d recovered admirably. Gladio was glad Prompto had their backs, but sometimes wondered how things would have gone if the Skag Rider had been more hungry than lonely when he stumbled upon Noct. 

"We should talk to the local tipster; I have questions about a few of these jobs. It also wouldn't hurt to start establishing our reputation here." Ignis looked up from his echo and slid it into his pocket. Gladio grunted, the Pyro always made sense, and headed to the diner. Often Noct pushed ahead in a fight, but a Shield did their best work at the front. The Warper thankfully allowed his friends to keep him in the middle, for now.

"Welcome to the Crow's Nest, strangers. What brings you to these parts?" The man at the counter called. Tipsters worked for both hunters and their settlements. If they got on his good side working in the area would go smoother.

"Work." Noctis said plainly. "Right now we could use a plate of fries and some local insight. We saw some signs of daemons out by the bandit camp at old Vaullerey and there's a bounty here for goblins. Those connected?" That opened the floodgates. Ignis took copious notes on his echo-map; the layer with possible vault locations carefully hidden. If things go well with the next couple bounties, they might ask about the rumors.

Noctis hadn't planned to be a vault hunter, and not one on Lucis of all places. His grandfather had been convinced that all the caches of Solheim weapons had been found, but he needed something if he was going to take back Insomnia Station after the 'hostile takeover'. On bad nights Noct imagined paying then back all the things they'd done; to Insomnia, to the people of Lucis, and to his dad. They'd make them pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt  
> Any/All Borderlands AU  
> So, I was thinking the other day that the AI companions felt a little bit like 4-player coop, but better because Gladio never fucks off to open and loot all the chests before we clear out the bandits, Kathy. A lot of the gameplay loops are similar, so I could see the bros fitting well into Pandora. What kind of vault hunters would they be? Would Gladio be a tank or support? Is Noct the heir to a corporation or part of the nearly defunct aristocracy? Ignis the company man or Ignis the pyro? Can Prompto make friends with a skag?
> 
> DNW- Sirens. Just...just skip the sirens.


	14. Something Beautiful...(Teen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna and Prompto get ready for their date night with Noct.

Prompto sat staring at her reflection. Lunafreya laughed and pushed her chin up with one elegantly manicured fingertip. Prompto closed her mouth, then opened it again. "I- I look…"

"Yes, you do."

"And… how does…"

"Contouring" Luna said smugly, like the word held the secrets of the universe. Prompto continued to gape at the beautiful woman staring back at her in the mirror. Maybe it did. 

Luna wrapped her arm around Prompto’s shoulders and tugged her to her feet. "Come on. We don’t want to keep Noctis in suspense too long." Prompto pulled away the handkerchief that had protected her dress and the pin that kept her bangs out of Luna's way.

The two women gave themselves and each other one last check over. Prompto giggled when Luna fixed her boobs for her. She stopped herself from biting her lip, cautious of her lipstick. She quickly checked which handgun she had ready in the armiger. It was never just a date night for the three of them; as a member of the crownsguard she was also the prince and the oracle’s last line of defense. Luna waited by the door with their purses. "You know," her cultured voice was warm with mischief, "I'm sorely tempted to stay in and ruin our makeup."

Prompto laughed. "We'll have time when we get back. C'mon, Noct's gonna flip when he sees us." Arm in arm, they made their way out to the main staircase.

Noctis’s reaction didn't disappoint. He’d been lounging against the railing and shot to his feet when he saw the two women. "Oh. My. Six. I am gonna drown in blond when we get home tonight."

Prompto glanced down, and snorted. "Not if Iggy kills you for ruining the line of your trousers first." Luna swept by the two of them with her nose in the air, her dress and perfume swirling behind her. The other two fell in pace.

"Behave, you two." She could barely keep the laughter from her voice.

"Us? Noct, didn't you tell her?" Prompto's heels made her a few centimeters taller than him so he smiled up at her as he held the door. 

"Sorry Luna, this is us behaving." He gently rested his hand improperly low on Prompto's back.

Luna smirked and when the two caught up sidled up to Noctis and pinched his bottom. "I guess I'll just have to take you as I can." The three broke up into laughter as they reached the waiting car. It was the start of a wonderful night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> PromNoctLuna - Fem!Prompto  
> Whether she's trans or not is completely up to the filler. But I kind of want to see a fic where all three of them are in a relationship.
> 
> Bonus: Noctis will brag that he's got two hot blondes at home but they are both perpetually unimpressed by him.


	15. Something Problematic... (Teen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regis/Princess!Prompto arranged marriage AU
> 
> This one jumped out at me from the pinboard and wouldn't let me sleep. It's a bit darker, but doesn't go out of bounds for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:
> 
> AU Regis/Prompto Fem!Prompto
> 
> In a Au where the war is not as bad yet(Ardyn not messed with it yet).Princess Prompto is the youngest of Emperor Iedolas many children her fathers lest favorited(She's not very good at all the Noble things.  
> The Emperor offers King Regis a peace t if he will marry one of Iedolas daughter's Regis thinking he meant one of the older princess excepts. then on the day is shocked to see his new bride is no older than his onw son.
> 
> \+ Prompto is really fearful at fist thinking Regis all be like the noble at home(creep old guy)  
> ++ Regis is kind if a little awkward  
> +++ Prompto ends up being friends with Noctis and the bros

_"As a gesture of goodwill and friendship between our nations, We allow a Princess of the Empire to marry His Majesty, the King of Lucis."_

Regis had been so relieved to spare Noct the burden of a treaty marriage he'd agreed to that particular term with little concern. Aldercap was a man of years; many of his daughters were close in age with Regis. Being a widower was a peculiar type of loneliness, almost drowned by time and the joy of his son. He had half-imagined the type of woman the Emperor would send. A woman retiring from a military career, or a seasoned courtier. Someone who would be a peer and, in time, perhaps a friend. As the girl looked up at him with fearful eyes from between the rows of Niflheim's soldiers he felt all his years crashing down on him.

Blond and sweet-faced, she was dressed in white for both the wedding and the empire. The marriage itself was official before she'd set foot in Lucis; all the pomp and ceremony was just for show. Regis was just as married now as he had been in the brief silence after Aulea had spoken her vows. There were no cheers today. The girl, Prompto, was silent throughout the treaty signing. She'd stumbled once, walking away from the masked soldiers to stand at his side, and had flinched as though she expected to be struck before she recovered. Noctis had nearly broken character, but settled after a hissed breath from Ignis.

After the signing Regis separated from his bride to have a few quick words with the staff to change the evenings plans. She hadn’t moved from where he’d left her. Regis cursed in the silence of his mind; _allowed_ , those slimy imperial bastards might as well have forced this girl here at knife-point. If she was older than his own son, he’d eat the damned Crystal. He carefully kept all of it from his face. “If my lady Queen will join me, we’ll be having a quiet family supper. We thought it would be best for you to rest after your arduous journey before presenting you to the court.” The lie rolled easily from his tongue, the court could celebrate the treaty without them.

“Ah, tha- that sounds… nice.” She bit her lip as though to stop herself from speaking further. Regis had felt anger at things Aldercap had done in the past, but this was the first time he’d honestly hated the man. He couldn’t imagine thrusting Noctis into a position of vulnerability in a stranger’s home. He offered her his arm and led the way to the private dining room.

Clarus meet them at the door to the dining room and bowed them in. Prompto pulled slightly closer to Regis as they walked through the door. Inside, having what seemed to be a heated discussion, were Noctis, Ignis, and Gladiolus. The three young men broke apart and bowed. “Prompto, if I may introduce you to my son, Noctis; his Shield, Gladiolus; his Advisor, Ignis.” They nodded in turn and Regis continued. “And my Shield, Clarus.”

Clarus took his bow. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, your Majesty.” Prompto dipped a curtsy, but her eyes darted around the room like a trapped fox. Regis had a thought for how to calm her.

“Clarus, will your daughter be joining us tonight?” Iris was a sweet and cheerful girl, perhaps…

“Regis, it’s a school night.” Clarus mock-scolded. Drat. “She’s at home with Jared.” He held a chair for Prompto and she sat. The men all took their seats and a servant came in with covered dishes. Conversation was difficult at first, but the boys quickly warmed to Prompto when it was discovered she played the same phone game as them. Clarus pulled Regis to the side, ostensibly to pick out a brandy, and murmured into his ear, “We’re going to have to control the narrative carefully here. We don’t want you to look like an old lecher,” the phones played some tune and a laugh came from the table, “and we don’t want the press to accuse the prince of being a motherfucker in the eyes of the law.” Regis scowled at his oldest friend, but understood.

“I’ll have a word with Noctis about propriety, but it would be good for her to have friends here.”

Clarus held his hands up; he’d said his piece. After a little longer Prompto started failing to suppress her yawns and Regis had the housekeeper escort her away to show her the facilities. Noctis practically pounced on his father as soon as she had left. “Dad, she’s _scared_! What are we going to do to let her know she’s safe now?” Regis was so proud of the kind man he’d raised.

“All we can do is treat her with kindness and courtesy.” Regis rested his hand on Noct’s shoulder. “Just give her space and offer friendship when she’s ready.” With that Regis bid goodnight to his son and friends and headed up to bed. Unfortunately, the poor girl was following a different script than he was and was quite frightened and nude by the time he reached the Royal Suite. They laughed about it in the years to come, but his knee was never quite the same after scrambling out of his own chambers.


	16. Something Flirty...(teen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gladio has some communication difficulties.

Gladio had a problem. It had been two problems a moment ago, but his first problem just shot the sabertusk that had gotten on top of his sword arm and almost nailed him. He found his balance and swung, scattering the pack that had ambushed them in an old barn. It was shaping up to be the road trip from hell, but the scenery was nice. The landscape was ok too, _BaDumTis_. It took hours to sort everything out with the hunter, Dave, and it was getting dark by the time they’d dealt with that messed up dualhorn.

“Nice shooting, Prompto! You really saved my ass out there today, I’m glad you were watching it.” Ignis faltered slightly setting up the camp stove and shot him an incredulous look. Prompto was busy playing against Noct on his phone as they pulled out the groceries and missed Ignis’s reaction.

“Aw, no problem big guy. I’m just glad I could help.” Prompto blushed slightly at the praise, but stayed focused on his phone. Gladio deflated slightly at the lackluster response, but resolved to try again later.

~*~

“Wow, this place is so romantic.” Prompto had his camera up like he was trying to catch all of Galdin to hold in it as they walked down to the water. Gladio stepped a little closer, justifying that someone would have to catch the blond if he tripped.

“Yeah it is; the ocean reminds me of your eyes.” Ignis rolled his eyes. Gladio had been making a new overture every day; getting more and more blatant at they got further from home. He was pretty sure Prompto was into him too, but he just wasn’t picking up what he was setting down. Point in case:

“Heh, careful big guy, people might think you’re flirting.” A blush was filling in the spaces around his freckles and a smile was playing around his lips as he fiddled with his camera.

“Alright, I’ve had enough.” Noct declared, “Specs, you take Gladio and set up at the haven, it’s too late to take the ferry. Prompto, you’re with me. We’re going to check out the fishing here and talk.” With that Noctis grabbed Prompto by the arm and dragged him down the beach to the local bait shop. Ignis sighed, shot Gladio a look, and started down the trail to the haven.

“If you're not careful, your face will freeze like that.” Gladio muttered at his old friend. It had no more effect than when he said it to Iris.

~*~

After their training run the next morning Noct waylaid him while Prompto was at the latrine. “Look, if you’re serious you’ve got to be straight with him!”

“I think Gladio wants the other thing,” Ignis chimed in from where he was preparing pancakes.

“I love him like a brother, but dude’s got self-esteem issues. He’s just going to get discouraged if you keep beating around the bush.”

Ignis sighed. “Too easy.”

“Now, I talked to him yesterday, he thinks you’re really cool. Just don’t fuck this up!”

Ignis sighed again.

~*~

They were making their way down the quay when Gladio pulled to the side and gestured Noct and Iggy ahead. Prompto had been fussing with his camera again and was at the rear of the group when Gladio caught his attention. “Hey Prompto, can I kiss you?”

“Hmm? Yeah, wha-” Gladio cut him off by placing his forefinger under his chin to bring his face up and ducked to bring their lips together. It was nearly chaste and over in a moment, but Gladio felt his blood rushing up to his face. Prompto was turning tomato red himself. “Uh, wanna run that by me again?” Gladio grinned and leaned back in. This kiss was decidedly less chaste and Prompto wrapped an arm around the back of Gladio’s neck. They’d still have to have a talk, with words and stuff, but maybe they could to that in one of the little cafés that Altissa was famous for. He looked forward to getting on the same page with Prompto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Prompt.  
> Gladio/Prompto, an unstoppable force meets an unwooable object  
> Gladio is really into Noctis's cute skittish friend, but his usual flirting tactics are yielding mixed results.
> 
> Prompto's too shy + self-conscious to internalize gladio's flirting and he thinks gladio is just trying to be nice or that's just His Personality or otherwise just making fun of him.
> 
> Gladio has to subtly exhaust his entire arsenal of cheesy pick-up plans trying to figure out if prompto will reciprocate his interest or not!
> 
> +I couldn't resist the title pun, but I'd prefer prompto being very wooable and easily flustered, but he just doesn't realize gladio is ACTUALLY trying to woo him  
> ++Prompto actually likes Gladio too but can't even fathom mutual interest  
> ++Gladio doesn't think prompto's NOT interested, but understands that prom's not exactly getting it. But he also thinks it would be dumb and unromantic to just ask him about it point-blank, so he keeps trying to be suave  
> ++++Gladio's flirting escalates in corniness/forwardness  
> ++++++ Flustered Prompto  
> +Noctis and/or ignis notice these shenanigans and comment on how ridiculous this is  
> ++ Noct or Iggy giving prom a peptalk for him to believe he might be worth gladio's time  
> ++ A scene where gladio kisses prompto and he STILL doesn't quite get it  
> ++++ Prompto crying out of confusion  
> ++++ Nobody gets Angstily Angry. Sadness and comedic frustration are fine but angry angst and I Hate You Now misunderstandings make me sad :(  
> ++++++ Happy ending, they get together <3


	17. Something Bittersweet...(Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes good manners can be hard to stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Prompt:  
> Iris cooks something for Noctis  
> \And it something he 100% HATES but he has to smile and pretend to enjoy it or she'll get upset and Gladio will kill him.
> 
> +++She now thinks its his favorite and makes it for every chance she gets.  
> +++Gladio being a troll and egging her on and suggesting foods he knows Noctis will hate.

Iris carefully placed the covered dish on the table before hurrying back around as the timer on the oven beeped. “I was so happy when Gladdy told me you four were coming back! I finally perfected the glaze.” She pulled a tray of hand pies out and carefully transferred them to plates that Talcott ran to the table two at a time. “Dustin helped me with the crust for these, and Talcott set the table!” The fifteen year old bounced on her heels as everyone gathered and sat down. As Noctis walked by she looked up at him and continued softly, “I wanted to make something special, to thank you for the flowers. It really meant a lot to me, I hope it all came out good.”

Noct smiled indulgently down at his Shield's kid-sister. “I’m sure anything you make is going to be great.” He was a little uncomfortable with her crush and tried not to show it. Dealing with Iris could be a bit of a tightrope routine, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings over it. He did like her; just not like that. He took his seat next to Prompto and Iris dropped down across the table next to her brother. She reached to the dish in the center of the table and pulled off the lid with a flourish.

“Ta-da! Let me know if you can guess the secret ingredient.” Noct craned in to see and barely caught his face from falling

“...Carrots.”

Iris giggled. “No, silly! It’s not a _secret_ if it’s the main ingredient.” She stood back up, right onto her tiptoes, to lean across the table to scoop some of the offending vegetables onto his plate. She then tried to serve everyone else, so the other diners had to hold their plates closer so the petite girl didn’t dump the carrots on the table cloth. Ignis was carefully and deliberately Not Laughing at Noct’s expense and Gladio was both wincing and grinning. “Gladdy said they were your favorite, so let me know how they measure up!” 

Noct waited for her to sit back down before shooting Gladio a look that promised lots of lightning magic the next time they trained. Gladio just smirked and took a bite of his hand pie and said with his mouth full. “Iris, these are the best spinach pies you’ve ever made.” He swallowed and continued. “The crust is way better than the store-bought ones you used before.” Noct’s spine stiffened. This just kept getting worse and worse.

“Gladdy! Chew with mouth shut; you’re so gross! ...And thanks.” She looked back at Noctis. “Well, what do you think?” Noct’s thoughts at that very moment were careful social calculations, overlaid with a loud, _Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-_

He picked up his fork and carefully didn’t look at the room’s exits. Sometimes the only way out is through. He stabbed one of the carrots. Liquid welled up and ran off as he lifted it. With any luck she’d used enough sugar in the glaze to kill his taste buds. He bit into the carrot. _-uuuuuUUUUCK!_ Sweetness and some kind of heat were no match for the bitter taste of carrots. The texture was like a mouthful of rotten wood. He swallowed and reached for his water, before realizing Iris was still watching him. He bent his lips into an approximate smile. “Wow, they’re really...different. I’m stumped. Specs, any guesses?” Iris glanced away and Noctis chugged from his glass.

“Hmm.” He took a careful bite, chewed and swallowed with no evident difficulty. Noct wondered why the gods always singled him out for their ire. “Ah, leiden peppers. That’s an inspired choice; the heat and the sweetness complement each other nicely.” While Iris was looking to the other end of the table Prompto quickly speared several of Noct’s carrots and transferred them to his plate. At least he had one friend in this world.

Iris looked back at his plate. “I’m glad they’re a hit, Noctis. Now what do you think of the spinach pies?” It was going to be a long meal. Maybe next time they’d stop at a Crow’s Nest before they came to Caem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like carrots, so I'm not sure if I captured what people dislike about them, but I tried.


	18. Something Unforgivable...(Teen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst times don't bring out the best in everyone.

“Which of you hurt the bird?”

The blond hunter wasn’t following the script. His apprentice, a boy about 15, looked nervous, but the hunter was staring down Jeremy like there weren’t a half dozen barrels aimed at him. “You don’t ask questions! Throw down your weapons and supplies and we might let you walk to safety!” Jeremy barked, unsettled by the even gaze. His hands tightened on the grips of his two pistols. They had the advantage, why did this feel off?

It had been a hard go since the sun disappeared. They’d started rolling hunters by faking hurt, but folks were getting wise to it, so he’d had a thought. They’d found the chocobo, stupid thing, scratching around in the dust near their camp. All it had taken was a few scraps and it had followed them out into the dark to wait for the next hunter. A few goblins bothered them, but nothing major. When a red truck came rolling along the road he slashed the birds leg and shoved it stumbling and shrieking from cover. The truck had slammed to a stop and the blond hunter had jumped out, followed by the boy.

“Do I need to repeat myself?” The blond didn’t have a weapon in his hands or a holster at his hip. He must have left his weapons in the truck as he jumped out. The boy had a holstered gun, but his hands were up. Jeremy scoffed and advanced. His boy’s kept their guns trained on the hunter as he closed the gap. The bird squawked and floundered in the road next to the boy.

“Listen, idiot. Maybe you wanna die for the bird and the truck, but it seems to me the boy wants to live.” He turned the muzzle of one gun to the boy and his world exploded with pain. He realized he’d dropped both guns as he tried to staunch the flow of blood from an agonizing through-and-through wound on his wrist and collapsed to his knees. There was a flurry of shots around him followed by one of his guys screaming. He looked up to find the hunter’s apprentice holding his gun to his face; the boy only shook a little.

Jeremy looked up at the blond hunter. Where had he been hiding the twin pistols? As he watched, the guns disappeared into glittering light. Fuck, not a hunter. There weren’t too many glaives and crownsguards left, but he’d managed to piss one off. The man grabbed his guns from the ground and made them disappear too. He stalked past Jeremy to presumably do the same to his guys.

“Alright Talcott?” The blond called.

“Uh-huh.” The boy relaxed his stance. Jeremy felt rough hands grab him and the blond wound a rope around his arms, pinning his hand over his wound. Then he knocked Jeremy to the ground and walked over to the chocobo. She hissed a warning and he stopped.

“Easy, girl, easy. I’m so sorry you got put through this.” The blond held out his hands and kept talking softly to the bird as it’s guard came down. After a few minutes it allowed him to touch it and it butt it’s head against his chest and warbled. He pet it’s feathers briefly, then everyone froze when the creak of an Iron Giant sounded from down the road. “Talcott, I need you to patch up this pretty girl and these assholes. Wound cleaning and coverage before anything else, and get them all loaded in the back. I’ll just be a minute if anything needs to be cauterized.”

The blond stepped away from the chocobo and sprinted toward the noise. Jeremy wasn’t sure if he was going slack jawed from awe or just woozy from blood loss. He ended up having a long time to mull it over when they got to Hammerhead. The old man that was apparently the closest thing to a judge there had a sense of irony and after a private conversation _with one of the six-damned king’s retainers_ commuted the death-sentence for banditry to labor; caring for the birds until the sun rose. The chocobo never forgave him, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> Prompto/Any or Gen, The Chocobo was a Lie!  
> Prompto is lured into a trap, with the culprits using an injured Chocobo as bait.  
> \- No specifications on the villain, it can be anyone from Ardyn, to hunters looking to mug someone.  
> -Happy ending totally optional, maybe Prompto is even able to nurse the Chocobo back to health?


	19. Something about Observation... (Explicit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy's make a friend through misbehavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> OT4 (plus?) - the boys being total exhibitionists  
> The real reason the boys were excited for the road trip? Camping naked!
> 
> I just wanna read about the boys setting up camp and immediately stripping down, openly doing sexual things in the middle of camp, and not really caring if cars drive by or people walk in
> 
> +++++++++if someone walks in on them (no Iris or minors like Talcott, please, but anyone else who suits your fancy is fine. Aranea, Cor, Ravus, Ardyn - my soul if it's Ardyn - Cindy, any of the side characters)  
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++if the person who walks in on them joins in

Ardyn shifted a little deeper into his pillow and debated snoring before deciding against it. He’d been feigning sleep for about a half hour at this point and he didn’t want to discourage the four from settling in for the night. Getting five men situated in the camper was a production as it was. With a queen-sized bed, two fold-out bunks, and the couch he was on there was _technically_ room. The closet-sized washroom was proving to be a challenge. For what, Ardyn couldn’t say, but the whispered debate between Verstael’s missing boy and the prince’s shield was heating up.

“Look if we leave the door to the shower open-”

“Hell no, that shower is disgusting.”

“Well, there’s always the bed.”

The wordless hum seemed approving.

“Really you two?” The lanky advisor broke in to the argument. “We have a guest, what if he woke.”

“That’d… be so hot.” There was a rustle of cloth as the prince made that _intriguing_ declaration. 

“Noct, really.” There was a slight thump next to the bunks. “You know I can’t allow a stranger to wake up and see that.” The next sound was a tantalizing muffled moan.

“Well, that’s one way to do it.” The gunman smothered a giggle. “Guess we get the bed, Gladio?”

“Huh...oh, yeah. So, still wanna do me?”

“You’re so fucking romantic; it’s like you read poetry or something.” Ardyn risked cracking and eye to see the blond shove the larger man face down onto the bed. They were facing the bunks around the corner. Ardyn could just see the prince’s knee and most of his advisor. Was that a foot between his thighs? His gaze was drawn back to Prompto struggling with Gladio’s pants. “Ya think a city Lestallum’s size has a shop that can do custom leathers? Next hunt we should have enough to get something in your size where the zip goes all the way back.”

“Aw, fuck yeah.” The prince hissed. “We could just bend you over the back of the Regalia at any...no, every, every fucking stop between here and the coast. Gods, Specs. Prompto, leave your pants on. Fuck you’re hot...” He broke off as he went incoherent, but the two men took his instruction to heart. Ardyn turned to watch more comfortably as the shield disrobed; the blonde pulled some supplies out of the Armiger and bent to his task.

Ardyn shifted his coats and slipped through them to take himself in hand. While the two on the bed had a view of the others, Ardyn could see them side on. The shield moaned slightly and rocked back into his partners ministrations. Ardyn risked speeding his own rhythm as Prompto rolled on a condom. As the blonde lined himself up he looked over and shot Ardyn a dazzling grin that had no place on Verstael’s face. Caught, blood rushed to Ardyn’s face and cock as the Prompto thrust forward and rode hard.

The prince’s wrecked voice sounded, “Prompto? W-what are you looking a-ahhh!”

Ardyn spread his knees a bit and tried not to laugh as the advisor, Ignis, made a choked sound and sputtered. He leaned back so his head was in view and rubbed at his face with one hand while still rutting against the foot between his legs. "Ptew, we've spoken about giving warning before. Noct?"

Ignis turned, away from Ardyn, to look at the couple on the bed and Prompto looked back at him with all the mock innocence a man could muster without losing his pace. Gladio moaned and writhed under the smaller man. Ardyn could see his member jutting out under him, untouched. "Hey Iggy, wanna get in here?"

Ardyn stilled as the advisor rose and pulled off his clothes. He swept his thumb across the head of his cock as he watched. Noctis remained a seated observer just out of sight as Ignis slid into the space under Gladio and rolled onto his back. Prompto slowed as Gladio shifted lower and Ignis guided him into his mouth and Gladio bent his neck to also take the other man. Prompto held his careful pace and again locked eyes with Ardyn.

"Oh, holy shit. Fuck." Noctis muttered. Gladio moaned, setting off the same response in Ignis. Ardyn resumed his strokes in time with Prompto's hips and he admired how the tight jeans accented his ass. Prompto gasped and bucked a little too hard into Gladio, but he stayed silent even as his fingers dug into Gladio’s waist. Ardyn watched as he shuddered his completion and started pumping in ernest as the blonde gripped the base of the condom and pulled out before stepping away from the bed

Gladio only lasted a few moments longer and also failed to warn Ignis before adding to the mess on his face. Ignis sighed in frustration as the bigger man collapsed on him. Prompto laughed as he returned to view, still hanging out the front of his pants. He rolled Gladio off of Ignis before taking ahold of the unsatisfied man. Ignis sighed as Prompto matched Ardyn’s brisk strokes and the advisor finally came, crying out as he spilled on the blonde’s hand. Prompto looked back up at Ardyn and raised his hand to his lips. Ardyn’s world contracted to the stroke of his hand and the image of a delicate tongue on wet fingers. He squeezed his eyes shut and failed to strangle a moan of his own as his orgasm rocked through him.

He came back down to four heated gazes coming from the bedroom of the camper. Well, it was shaping up to be an interesting night.


	20. Something Not Forgotten...(General)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cor is confronted by his past in an unexpected place.

Cor flipped through the dossier about Prince Noctis’s new aquainence. It was a security protocol that had been established when the prince insisted on going to a ‘normal’ school, but this was the first time it had been implemented. Anyone watching the man would think he was unmoved by document in front of him. Anyone who hadn’t seen him injured on the battlefield with the same blank expression. Anyone other than his king.

"Cor? You look like you've seen a ghost." Regis leaned across his desk. "I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, what is it?"

"You mean aside from the fact that his foster parents neglect him?" Cor sat rigid in his chair, staring at the boy in the picture. 

"They've done nothing illegal. By all accounts they work hard and have provided for the boy. Do you think that makes him unfit for Noctis?"

Cor tightened his grip on the photo slightly, but enough to let Regis know he'd misstepped. He couldn't fault the king for being focused on his son; it made Regis a good father. Still… "This is Emma's son."

Regis blinked at the long unspoken name and would have shifted uncomfortably if he allowed himself. "Cor, the adoption records are sealed. In the eyes of the law, he's their boy. You can't possibly be sure."

"It'd just take a simple blood test…" Cor echoed the argument he'd made when he found out that Emma had died in the hospital without naming a father for 'Baby Doe'.

Regis was wary of opening old wounds, but trying to head Cor off from doing something rash was a well trained instinct. "The boy is in a stable home, whatever it's failings in your eyes. What will dragging up the past accomplish besides bringing you pain?" He still believed that he'd done the right thing talking Cor out of stepping forward. The scandal alone...

Cor set the dossier down calmly, rose from his seat and walked to the door. With his hand on the handle and his back to his king he sounded casual. "Fifteen years ago, I was too young; now, I'm too late. I can't win, can I? For what it's worth, I approve Prompto Argentum's clearance." He opened the door and walked away to find something to do other than brood on the sins of his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> Gen, deadbeat!Cor and Bastard!Prompto  
> AU where Prompto isn’t from the empire or an MT
> 
> Cor’s Greatest regret in his life is letting the court talk him out of keeping his illegitimate son. Seeing Regis with his son, and Clarus, he can’t help but feel like he was cheated. Like he made the biggest mistake in his life for giving the small child up without a second thought and returning to his duties. It’s the skeleton in his closet that he can never properly face until the young friend of the prince shows up at the castle. Prompto, Who is adopted, and very much the spitting image of himself and his one night stand combined. How can he convince this almost adult man that he wants to be a part of his life? Should he even try to fix this? How betrayed will Prompto be when he finds out that Cor the Immortal, the man he use to look up to and idolize, is actually the man who cursed him to a life in the system, never thinking he was good enough because his own biological parents didn’t even want him? What sort of horror stories does Prompto have to tell his dad about what life was because he didn’t want him? Will Prompto be able to forgive Cor?


	21. Something Cultured...(teen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The King's younger brother, Duke Ardyn of Insomnia, part time tour guide.

Ignis was carefully calibrating his glare as he followed the Duke of Insomnia and Prompto through the gallery halls of the Citadel. This was technically a public area and, as such, an eligible omega didn’t require an escort to walk with his Grace, but Ignis was not willing to let even the shadow of impropriety fall on the prince’s friend. Ardyn had a not entirely unfair reputation as a rake and a few less-savory journals had tried to paint Prompto as a loose omega for his friendship with Noctis, despite the fact that _Ignis_ bore Noct’s bite and wasn't the sort to share. The king’s younger brother, seemingly unfazed by the dark edge to the presence of the prince’s omega, blithely carried on with his tour.

“Ah, now this one created quite a commotion in the court. You see, the artist had won the commission to paint the Infernian and the Glacian based on her earlier work that was more… typical of its time and this was a huge departure. Tell me, what do you think of it?” The alpha had offered Prompto a guided tour of the gallery when he had overheard the younger omega waxing-enthusiastic about a new statue in the park to Noctis. To everyone’s surprise Prompto had only shown his shyness around Ardyn for a moment before agreeing.

Prompto stepped closer the the human-sized painting of the Glacian and her omega. Ignis was no prude, but he felt a blush cross his cheeks as he looked at the embracing gods from an appropriate distance. The painting was scarcely on this side of lurid, showing the gods in what was obviously a post-coital daze entwined on a bed with snowy sheets surrounded by various animals and fruits that represented fecundity in the time it was painted. Hardly first-date material. Not that this was a date. Ignis was reminded that Prompto was quite innocent in ways as he leaned in to examine the brush work. “Honestly, it looks like dozens of other paintings of them, but it seems… more grounded? Like, that frog looks like it’s about to jump off the painting.”

“Good eye! It was that ‘grounded' quality that so offended the great and the good of its time. You see, the style of the day was to give the gods an… ethereal quality. Here, she painted sweat on the Glacian’s brow, bruising around the mating-bite she gave the Infernian, and a dappled softness around the Infernian’s stomach and hips. Rumors flew that she’d modeled the Infernian on her own lover, who’d given her twins the year before. Apparently, the presentation got so heated the Crownsguard had to intervene.” Ignis stepped closer, ready to whisk Prompto away if the other omega was getting uncomfortable.

Prompto snorted a laugh. “So it was cool to paint the gods doin’ it, but show some stretch marks and they call the cops?” Ardyn’s laugh was rich and amused. He shifted toward Prompto like he wanted to wrap an arm around him, but pulled back. The duke turned to point across the hall to a smaller painting.

“Now, this one is a little less controversial, but the technique for shading the feathers was revolutionary.”

Prompto followed the duke’s attention and gasped in adoration. “Oh, it’s so pretty!” He tucked his hands behind him as he crowded in to study _Still Life with Chocochick (376)._ “This must have taken forever with such tiny strokes.” Ignis had to give Ardyn points for knowing his audience. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a disaster if he tried to court Prompto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> Ardyn/Prompto Courting ABO AU
> 
> Omega!Prompto has a huge crush on Noctis' Alpha uncle Ardyn, who always turns on the charm whenever he's around. He doesn't think Ardyn likes him back, but he's happy enough to go along with Ardyn's chivalry and companionship whenever he visits the Citadel. One day he blurts out how he really feels and Ardyn is basically like "oh good I thought I scared you and you were just being polite" and they start courting and eventually get engaged.
> 
> +++++++++ chocobros being worried that Ardyn is toying with Prompto, who's never really been in a relationship, and watching their interactions closely  
> +++++++++++++++ don't really mind what dynamics the other bros are, but bonus for Omega!Ignis trying to give Prompto advice etc etc


	22. Something Unbearable...(Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignis and the stages of grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated putting this here. My family suffered a loss recently and this kinda fell out fully formed.
> 
> For the prompt:  
> Ignis - Can't lose anything else  
> Post-game. Ignis has had it. The world -- the Six? Fate? Someone/something -- has taken enough from him. The world he knew, his king (his friend), his sight...
> 
> They can pry this little life he's scraped together after everything out of his cold, dead hands, dammit.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that please?" Ignis was distantly proud that his hands were steady as he poured steaming water over the leaves. He normally enjoyed having company for tea.

"I ne... want you to be my executor. I don't have a lot of stuff to f... fuss with, but I know you'd see it gets to whoever will appreciate it." Ignis set the timer he usually didn’t need and sat with his face toward his guest. He wasn’t sure if he'd get through this without screaming. 

"You're certain this is necessary?" Ignis pulled off his gloves and rolled them between his fingers. 

"...um, yeah. I don't want to get into the gross medical stuff, but the doc and I are sure." The chair on the other side of the table creaked as it's occupant moved with restless energy. It was preposterous to think that he… that he…

"Alright, I'll handle things if it comes to it. What's your treatment plan?"

"Iggy…"

"And don't tell me you've only seen one physician. A second opinion can make all the difference in the world."

"Ig-"

"People are immigrating back to the crown city in droves now. Surely there must be-"

 _"Iggy!"_ The alarm sounded and Ignis rose to fetch the tea automatically. He wasn't fleeing. Ignis took a shuddering breath as he poured with the ease of practice. Something hot rolled down his cheek.

There was a scrape of wood against tile. Soft footsteps came around the table and cold hands took the teapot from him. He could almost convince himself that Prompto was chilled from being outside, but it was a lovely warm day. "I'm sorry. I won't put this on you."

Ignis wanted to snarl at the smaller man, but swallowed it down. He forced his hands to still, when had they started shaking? "I can't, _I can't!"_ Prompto guided Ignis into his arms. He clung to his friend and shook with grief and mortification. Was he really making Prompto comfort him now?

Ignis tried to pull away. "I-I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's ok. You should have seen me after the tests came back. Umm-"

"Yes, I _should_ have seen you. You should have been getting the best care possible at the Royal Hospital in an unbroken city and N-" Ignis broke off his tirade in a choked sob. Prompto held him and Ignis felt tears soak into the collar of his shirt. "This sucks."

"Yeah, no argument there." Prompto tugged Ignis toward his own sitting room. "Couch?"

"Yes." Ignis let himself be lead. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"You're sure…?"

"Yeah." Ignis held the curses on his tongue. Every time he thought the gods had taken all they could…

"I'll make sure everything is taken care of."


	23. Something Thirsty...(Mature)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's hard to have to sit out an activity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to get back into the swing of things with a nice, simple, horny prompt.
> 
> For the prompt:  
> Ass man Noctis perving over everybody's butts  
> What it says on the tin.

_This,_ Noctis mused, _is either heaven or hell._ He clung to the remnants of his dignity as he watched the already tight gym shorts pulled to highlight the musculature of Prompto’s ass as Ignis guided him through a complicated position. It was really Gladio’s fault. He'd sprung a surprise yoga session on them, but Noctis’s back had been acting up; his physical therapist was having him only work under her supervision. So the prince had to watch from the side and try not to catch wood.

"You’ve almost got it Blondie. Here, watch this." Gladio knelt and Noctis watched as his shield contorted on the mat. Gladio was wearing loose gym shorts that usually left a lot to the imagination. Right now they draped just wrong so Noct could see Gladio’s muscular thighs and just the barest sliver of briefs as gravity pulled them the wrong way.

"Ohhh, gotcha." Prompto nodded his understanding. "Um, you guys won't let me fall right?" Gladio grunted and shifted to a new stretch. Noctis tried to think about multiplication tables. He averted his gaze; he’s nineteen dammit! Adults can totally hang out while their friends do yoga without embarrassing themselves.

"I promise not to let you fall." Ignis vowed mildly. Without looking at Noctis he continued, "If his highness would be so good as to _pay attention_. Just because you can't participate doesn't mean you can't learn." Noctis snorted at the rebuke. If he paid much more attention he wouldn't be able to stand up at the end of this. 

Prompto knelt the way Gladio had and cautiously shifted his weight to his hands. He pushed his feet out slowly and his running-sculpted ass rose. Noctis felt his mouth dry. The extra material smoothing the inseam of his shorts almost protected the blonde's privacy. Prompto’s noises of effort sent Noct’s imagination into overdrive. The stretch of spandex clung to every twitching muscle, the only flat part was the span above where the two glorious globes met, plunging too sharply for the fabric to follow. 

“You’re so close, may I assist?” Ignis hovered his hands. No way… _Six and seven is forty-two, six and eight…_

“Uh… yeah…” Prompto grunted as he strained. Ignis placed his elegant hands on Prompto’s hips and pushed. His thumbs dug in as he pushed Prompto further into the stretch. _Six and nine is forty-two ...gods…_ Long, pale fingers contrasted and framed the dark fabric that tempted and concealed. Noctis tried to look away and ended up having his attention caught by the way Ignis braced himself to help Prompto. Ignis had dropped into a lunge to stabilize himself and the fabric of his track pants pulled under his raised leg; all the more tantalizing for being understated.

"There, do you think you can hold there when I let go?"

Prompto huffed as he tried to control his breath. "Y...yeah, I got it." Ignis pulled back his hands. Prompto wobbled momentarily, then stabilized. 

“Very good. Just hold that for two more breaths; then start transitioning back down to the first pose.” Ignis rose and stepped back to his own mat and proceeded as he’d instructed. Noctis bounced his knee as all three men slowly moved through the stretches. Prompto half-turned and settled onto both knees as he caught Noct’s eye. Noct didn’t think the wink was necessary; that smirk was knowing enough as it was. _Definitely hell._


	24. Something with Caffeine...(General)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I really meant to have this one done _daaaays_ ago. I'm kicking it out now before my trip. Happy Belated Birthday Noct!

"So, did you get the shot?" Gladio asked in a conversational tone. 

"You mean the one where his soul nearly left his body? Oh yeah?" Prompto scrolled through the photos on his camera as the normally reserved prince seemed to be near tears looking towards the cafe's door. The three had conspired to surprise Noct for his birthday, apparently to great effect. Once Noct had composed himself they entered. The greeter instructed them to wash their hands before letting them read through the liability waiver.

"...and not to feed the cats anything except the treats provided by the attendants. Most of the cats have their claws so visitors are advised to respect their boundaries." Ignis intoned. The café was presented in a style that could be called 'Tenebraen on a budget,' and rather than being a for-profit enterprise it was actually part of Central Insomnian Animal Shelter. Not that the prince was taking notice of anything except a rather elderly looking ball of fluff giving his dark clothes an appraising look. Confident that Noct had absolutely ignored everything he'd just said, Ignis signed off for the group.

Once that was taken care of Noctis swept up the fluff ball, Duchess, and took her over to one of the couches. Prompto followed, proclaiming the photogenic qualities of the snaggle-toothed cat. Ignis suppressed his shudder as the couch creaked with age and crinkled with plastic when Noctis settled and went to order drinks.

A group of… not kittens, perhaps teenage cats galloped past Ignis’s feet as he returned with four cheap lidded paper cups. They swarmed Gladio where he sat on a low cushion. Ignis placed Gladio’s latte on the table, nudged Prompto until he took his black coffee, and held a caramel monstrosity out to Noctis, who had both hands buried in purring fluff. “If her Grace will relinquish one of your arms.” Ignis prompted. Duchess gave Ignis an imperious glare as one of Noct's hands stopped petting her to accept his 'coffee'.

Ignis ignored the cat’s disdain and settled on a wooden chair on the far side of the table by the couch to enjoy his own drink. The barista had looked askance when he’d ordered, then dismayed when he explained, but she’d poured his black eye like a trooper. As he sipped a small calico came over and settled itself on his shoes. He pulled out his phone and made a note to check Noct’s shirt over for damage as a cat, just as fluffy but nearly twice as big as Duchess, climbed up to his charge’s shoulder and started kneading. As the calico shifted to lean against his ankle and he felt the vibrations through his sock Ignis congratulated himself for coming up with the _purrfect_ birthday gift for his prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so my lovelies know, I'll be off the grid for a few days so I won't be able to respond to comments as fast as I'd like to.
> 
> For the prompt:  
> Gen - The guys visit a cat cafe  
> Some sweet, pure fluff where the guys end up at a cat cafe (is it someone's birthday? do they have a day-off? whatever the occasion, could be just for fun) and enjoy themselves drinking tea or coffee and petting the cats.  
> \+ Noctis is the happiest when he's surrounded by fluffy cats and there's like three in his lap and one trying to climb up to his shoulders he might suffocate under the fluff but he'll die happy  
> \+ Prompto taking so many photos he literally runs out of space and he has to keep the cats from eating his food but they're so cute that they make up for it  
> \+ Gladio is swarmed by kittens. Where did they come from? Who knows, they just know that he's the biggest and the warmest and they want to cuddle  
> \+ Ignis is mostly there for the coffee and food but even he can't deny that the cat curling around his legs is adorable and yes maybe he lets them onto his lap but only for a little bit


	25. Something Feathered...(General)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompto's first flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of [**Apodidae**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16233557)
> 
> For the prompt:  
> WingFic Prompto's First Days With Wings  
> There is not enough fics with Winged Bros!
> 
> So let's say those related to Royal family have wings. Nobles, some old families (of course Gladio and Ignis too). They can be also gifted like royal magic. So Prompto's crash-course Crownsguard training ends with him getting pretties wings ever. Also the most annoying.
> 
> \+ Not being able to control wings properly  
> \+ Bros trying to help, but not really succeeding, since using wings is as natural as breathing for them
> 
> OP is fine with either fluff and angst... or mix.

Noctis woke as the light of the sun started to warm the tent. He almost couldn’t believe how late he’d slept in. They’d been camping nonstop to avoid civilization in the weeks since Prompto’s winglets came in because it could be dangerous to bind them while they grew to full size. They’d headed south and found a remote haven along the shoreline; one with privacy, security, and all the fish he could catch. The only struggles were boredom and getting Prompto to eat more at meals to support the growth of his wings.

Noct lazily stretched, then sat up abruptly as his hand brushed against someone; knuckles bumping against smooth feathers. He was nearly always the last one out of the tent, but Prompto was still here, awake and wrapped up in his wings. “G’morning,” Noct yawned as he spoke, “You feeling ok?” He bent over to examine Prompto, worried that Prompto might have gotten sick.

Prompto blushed and looked at his pillow to avoid eye contact. He mumbled, barely audible as the morning breeze shook the tent and waves crashed against the rocks, “ _I’m stuck_.”

Noctis blinked. “What?”

The blush crept around to the back of Prompto’s neck. He’d managed to pin his own arms and tuck both his long wings under his torso so he couldn’t get any leverage to move. “I...I’m stuck.” There was a note of real distress in his whine. “I can’t move my arms and it hurts when I try to roll free. And I really gotta get up.”

“S’alright, it happens to everyone at least once.” Noct lied. Then again, he’d been a kid when his wings had come in so maybe it was true for the normal Crownsguard. Plus, Prompto’s wings were longer than anyone he knew. They actually were starting to cross behind him when folded; it was going to be tough to hide them. “Here, I’ll pull you up by the shoulders and you can get free.” He stumbled a bit trying to stand in the confines of the tent, but got his hands wrapped around Prompto’s shoulders and lifted. He took a moment to appreciate Prompto’s core strength, even if it made him a little more difficult to lift as he held his torso and hips stiff. Once he had enough clearance he unwrapped his wings and pushed his way up and out of the tent; to Noct’s surprise.

“Thanks!” Prompto blurted his gratitude as he dashed for the latrine. He darted around Gladio where he was talking to Ignis and jumped off the steep side of the haven. Prompto knew it was a safe distance for him to fall and he _really_ needed to go! He nearly ran into a rock when he landed a lot farther away than he expected and heard Gladio and Ignis exclaim behind him. No time! He dashed around the outcropping they were using for a screen and sighed in audible relief.

When Prompto came back around toward the haven he realized Gladio and Ignis were staring at him and jerked back. “Guys! A little privacy?” He protested the scrutiny.

“Damn, I didn’t get my phone out in time.” Gladio grumbled, ignoring Prompto’s scandalized squawk. 

“What’s going on?” Noctis emerged from the tent and stretched his wings.

“You missed Prompto’s first flight.” Ignis said mildly

“What!” Prompto and Noct interrupted each other. Prompto pushed on, “That didn’t count, I just jumped off the haven!”

“If he says it didn’t count; then I didn’t miss it!” Noct dove back into the tent, grabbed his phone, and scrambled back. “Ok, go ahead and do it again.” Prompto shifted uncomfortably. The other three continued to stare.

“Uhh, I… don’t know how? I mean, I just jumped off the haven.”

“Try jumping and then flapping-”  
“Try flapping a bit and jumping-”

While Noct and Gladio glared at each other Ignis took up the thread. “Try facing into the wind and spreading your wings first, then just do what feels natural.” Prompto looked nervous, but turned toward the waves.

“Um, what if I fall on the rocks, or in the water?”

“Either way, I’ll come aid you.” Ignis promised. “Remember; your wings are magical in nature, and there to help you. It would be impossible to steer, much less take off, if they were purely anatomical.”

“ _Riiight_. This is impossible. Good talk, Iggy.” Prompto grumbled, but spread his wings up into the breeze. He winced as they scraped the ground; that never happened to the guys. He tried leaning forward into the wind, like he’d seen Ignis do, and held his wings stiff. For ‘magical’ appendages, it sure felt like muscle was straining as he held them up. No, that’s the wrong mind set. “Um, so what should I do if it doesn’t feel natural?” He tried to flap and knocked his wingtips against the ground.

“You did it a minute ago, just do it again.” Gladio helpfully suggested. Prompto considered his options and turned to climb back up the haven.

“Aww, don’t give up! You can do this!” Noct tried to mask his disappointment with cheer, but he didn’t have as much practice as Prompto, who just rolled his eyes.

“Dude, I’m not! Just let me try it from up here, yeah? Like I did ‘a minute ago’.” Instead of walking around to the sloped side of the haven, Prompto grabbed the near edge to pull himself up and paused. With his wings hanging down behind him this felt a lot better than standing around. He tightened his grip on the edge and pulled his legs up until he was basically crouched on the side of the haven.

“Sorry, need a hand getting up?” Noct came over to Prompto and tucked his phone in his pocket. He held out his hands to the blonde, but Prompto had twisted to look behind him. “Prompto?” Prompto ignored his friend, tensed, and kicked off from the haven. He twisted in the air and beat his wings. The ground fell away below him and he realized with a giddy rush he was flying. Below him he heard a cry of protest. “Dammit, I didn’t have my phone out!”

Prompto’s laughter was caught by the wind as he soared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did a research, and apparently landing and taking off sucks for swifts? So some of them just don't? Like, they put trackers on some swifts and found them just sleeping on the wing. The news bite headlines said they stayed up for 10 months and landed to nest. It's more complicated than that, because it always is, but still super impressive.
> 
> Also full disclosure; Noct's a crow, because yeah. Ignis is a seagull, because secretly, in his most hidden heart, he's just like that. Gladio's a sparrow because those are some good, fighty boys.


	26. Something Quiet... (Explicit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noct/Gladio spend some quiet time together.
> 
> Not my kink, but I can dig it. Hope I did alright.

Gladio twisted the fingers he had deep inside Noctis and was rewarded by a soft sigh as Noct's cock twitched, straining in the loose grip of his other hand. In the quiet of the room he could hear Noct’s feet tangling in the sheets at his sides, he could practically hear his heartbeat. Gladio watched Noct's face, rapt. Noct had gone past looking silly with bliss and running his hands through Gladio’s hair to grimacing and balling his fists in the pillows and his hair to open-mouthed gasping with his hands limp over his head. Gladio should probably let Noct come again soon. He moved his thumb to gently brush over the head of Noct’s cock. His lover’s inhale turned into a shuddering gasp.

The first time they’d gotten together Gladio had nearly fretted himself soft; worried that Noct wasn’t having a good time, constantly stopping to ask. As they learned each other as lovers he quickly came to appreciate how much Noct had to push through his reserved nature in everyday life. The bedroom was one place Gladio wasn’t going to insist Noct put on a performance and he loved each moan and whimper for how rare and true they were.

 _“ffkhmm…”_ Of course, Gladio wasn’t a mind reader either. They’d had to find some balance where Noct could ask for what he wanted.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that.” He eased his fingers back slightly and waited for Noct to use his words.

“-said, ‘fuck me’.” Noct murmured. Gladio chuckled and leaned in for a kiss before grabbing the lube again and rolling Noct onto his front. Noct gave a slight hum through his nose as Gladio sank balls-deep into him. Music to his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:  
> Gladio/Noctis - Quiet In Bed  
> Help a poor sinner with a stupidly specific kink  
> When Gladio and Noctis get up to intimate shenanigans, Gladio finds that Noct is very quiet in bed. In fact, he doesn't make any noise aside from variations of desperate breathing. Gladio's fascinated by it and so wants to see how far he can push his prince to making some noise  
> \+ Gladio turning Noct into an absolutely melted shuddering mess  
> \+ Ultimately, Noct just can't raise his voice past whimpering/soft sounds, but Gladio relishes in whatever noises he gets  
> \+ Overstimulation/multiple orgasms  
> \- DNW mean/derogatory gladio or shaming


	27. Something Off..(Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Royal University of Insomnia teeters on the cusp of a major discovery, just not the one they're looking for.
> 
> Geneticists don't @ me. Actually, please @ me, I'd love it.

Meli chugged her coffee as she waited for the computer to load up the latest batch for her to review. The beta was exhausted, she’d been up cramming all night as her flatmates rutted in the next room over. Still, she was here doing the work. This was bleeding edge research into the genetics of endocrinology. The things they could discover about secondary gender dysfunction could be life saving. Meli kept reminding herself that being on Professor Plumbnus’s team was a career-making position. She didn’t quite realize she was reminding herself out loud.

“It’s good, just three more hours… Okay, Donor 24! Mmm-male beta, oohf, false heats starting at 17, that sucks. Ultrasound clean, managing with a cocktail, tetergyne and alberoro mostly. Active lifestyle, hmm. Surprised they let you in the Crownsguard. Alright, got your…fuck.”

Meli trailed off as she looked at the data. The computer analysis had flagged over _five hundred_ potential abnormalities in the study section. She poked through the highlighted sections and blew a raspberry before closing it and sending a note to the lab team to see if they still had the raw sequence for 24, the wrong section had been run. It would suck to lose another data point to a fuck up like this. She went to refill her coffee before she moved on to Donor 25. She forgot about 24 until after midterms.

A few weeks later she was going over the redos when she pulled the file on 24 again. After a few minutes she got up and went to the communal coffee to load up a few cups. It might help to start off on a friendly note with the lab crew.

"He-ey, buddy? Meli smiled around her falsetto. Vin glowered at her with suspicion, but took the coffee. "Got a minute? I've got some questions about 24."

"We did it right, and we did it right the first time.” The fine lines around Vin’s mouth deepened. Meli didn’t think she was any younger than Vin, she resolved to stay in analytics if this was what the lab stress did. “We’re looking for problems here, you think maybe you found one?” Vin finished, burying their nose in their coffee.

“Yes, but… it just really looks like the sequence after the study section?” Meli picked through her words. “If it was a natural transcription error that big, I don’t think 25 would, y’know, be here to be a part of the study?”

Vin snorted. “Well, he’s here and these are his genes. We ran them right, the rest of it’s your...” Vin looked down at the coffee and then away, cheeks pinking. “Sorry. Didn’t sleep, not your prob,” they blurted, “He might just be an outlier, but…” Vin trailed off.

“What?” Meli prodded.

“...” Vin still wasn’t looking at Meli. “We should probably… There were a couple other weird things about 24, but I don’t think the ethics board would like us digging around. You should probably just mark him out of the study.”

Meli's grip tightened on her coffee briefly before the cheap paper cup threatened to buckle. "Oh, you can't just say that and leave me hanging."

Vin’s glare was sharp enough to cut glass. "What I _can't do_ is gossip about the donors. Go talk to the Professor if you think it’ll do any good to harass 24 for more data. Oh shit, is it ten already?" They turned on their heel and headed down the hall. "Thanks for the coffee." Vin called over their shoulder as they turned the corner.

Meli went back to her computer and switched on the radio to quietly listen to music while she drafted the email to her Professor to ask for a meeting about either getting more info or moving 24 to a more in depth study. Once it was ready she saved it to drafts to check it over and send in an hour. The music was interrupted by a news bulletin. Meli rolled her eyes as the Oracle read some scripted, scrutinized statement about looking forward to her wedding. It was frankly embarrassing in this day and age, but if that's what it takes to bring people together in peace, then that's why Meli wasn’t in PoliSci anyway.

She worked away at her data and hoped that it would help people like Donor 24; somehow, someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt:
> 
> Any/Any ABO dysfunction  
> I'm wondering about how things can go wrong for our boys. Like how would PCOS express in an omega. Is they an equivalent to dysmeneria? Can antidepressants supress a heat? Does anxiety make ruts worse? Would an inability to sync with your partner be pathologized?
> 
> Go wild and have fun!
> 
> Also inspired by a throwaway line in someone else's fic that my little brain wouldn't let go of.


End file.
